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Dao Cafe Podcast 有道小館

人生有期待有煩惱,像健康、家庭、事業、金錢、人際關係、心靈需求等等,有道小館 daocafe.com 雙語發聲,周一人物專訪,來賓分享專業知識、人生歷練,周二播專訪摘要,周四周五是各種短篇分享,以他山之石正向轉念,利人也利己。請訂閱、提供建議,我們一定做到更好,謝謝! 更新:自即日起,節目改為全中文播出,擬另闢英文節目,敬請期待。
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Now displaying: June, 2016
Jun 30, 2016

希望是給時刻積極的人

成功是給堅持到底的人

健康是給涵義身心的人

財富是給勤儉能捨的人

幸福是給常懷感恩的人

快樂是給心中知足的人

清靜是給隨處自在的人

祥和是給珍惜一切的人

智慧是給怟心學習的人

使命是給願意承擔的人

機會是給準備完全的人

蓮台是給覺行圓滿的人

Jun 30, 2016

王正元律師小檔案

  1. 加州民事訴訟律師
  2. 加州ASST律師事務所合夥人
  3. 專精集體訴訟、人體傷害、其他民事糾紛

民事訴訟:一般人在受到傷害、受到損失時,用司法的方式來解決問題

Arnold看法學院的教育

  1. 教你看事情用法律的方式,要知道如何分析
  2. 思考邏輯的不歸路:念了法律之後,整個人的觀念、分析方式、思考方式都會不同
  3. 教你如何在法庭上訴訟、如何為社會解決問題
  4. 若沒有實戰經驗,無法替雇主或個人提供法律意見
  5. 法學院畢業,最可能的工作是來自訴訟事務所

集體訴訟(以加州為例)

  1. 人數限制:四十人左右(要件之一,後來又有二十人可成案說法)
  2. 例:公司政策有歧視某些員工的明文規定,受影響的是為數眾多的員工
  3. 例:產品成分標籤不清或不實(消費者保護),受影響的是廣大民眾
  4. 訴狀代表人:此人所受傷害或接受到的訊息,一定要跟團體中所有成員一樣(要件之一)
  5. 被告通常是大公司,理由是受影響人數多,而且公司資源多
  6. 接案律師通常用抽成方式收費,等到案件成功了,賠償部分有確認判決,才從賠償金中收取律師費

例:工作責任制(以加州勞工法為例)

  1. 定義:排除使用時薪付薪水的方式
  2. 適用:專業人員、管理層次人士
  3. 工作的職稱不是分析重點
  4. 例:若為管理階層,進行管理工作的時間應超過所有工作時間的一半

王律師給大家的提醒與建議

  1. 受不公平對待或碰到非法行為,應跟專業律師請問,是否可用法律途徑爭取自己的權益
  2. 民事訴訟不是意氣用事,法律不是讓你復仇的,不是調整心情的工具
  3. 你的「傷害、損失」是什麼,是否有明確的金錢損失?要有證據。光是精神受損很難成案
Jun 28, 2016

In the United States, the tuition and fees for the higher education is HIGH. If you’re not financially well off but planning to be an undergraduate or graduate student, what can you do? Director of the Financial Aid office from UWest shares some basic but important tips: how to apply for financial aids and/or scholarships in the States.

Where To Find Information You Need

  1. The website of the university you’re interested in
  2. If any financial aid and/or scholarship is available, it is usually listed. Look carefully.
  3. Do NOT miss the deadline.
  4. Make sure if you are qualified. If yes, fulfill the requirements.
  5. Search engines online for third party scholarships

Domestic Students

  1. Financial Aids: Federal Aid programs (FAFSA), state financial aid programs
  2. Student loans: Federal government or private
  3. Scholarships offered by university/college
  4. Scholarships from the 3rd Parties

International Students

  1. Scholarships from School
  2. Scholarships from the 3rd Parties

Scholarships Offered By UWest

  1. Scholarships, fellowships, 3rd party scholarships
  2. Requirement: GPA from high school and/or college
  3. Requirement: Demonstration of financial needs
  4. Requirement: Fulltime students only

 

Jun 27, 2016

美國高等教育的學雜費真的是既高又貴,口袋沒銀子,想讀大學或研究所怎麼辦?美國西來大學獎助學金辦公室主任方園,分享申請獎助學金的注意事項。

去哪裡找資料

  1. 你有興趣的那個大學的網站
    • 若有獎助學金,應就會有相關網頁
    • 不要錯過截止日期
    • 申請的要求
  2. 網路上的獎學金搜尋軟體

美國公民與綠卡持有者

  1. 高三時學校有輔導老師協助,在網路申請
  2. 政府助學金或助學貸款
  3. 學校獎學金
  4. 私人企業獎學金

國際學生

  1. 學校獎學金
  2. 私人企業獎學金

西來大學獎學金種類、資格、限制

  1. 新生獎學金、學校獎學金、私人企業獎學金
  2. 高中(或大學)成績總平均(GPA)、經濟狀況
  3. 全職學生

西來大學美國文化交流計畫(PACE遊學團)

  1. 短期語文或特定課程
  2. 吃住都在學校
  3. 課餘跟週末安排校外活動
Jun 24, 2016

There is a Chinese phrase, 淡泊名利. The direct translation would be “take the fame and financial gains lightly.” It’s not that we cannot have them, but that you don’t see them as necessities to make us happy or satisfied. If we can let go of the temptations of getting them and worries of not able to get them, we’d be happier. We’d have a solid and real life and see things objectively. We’d not become the slaves of fame and money who have less and less happiness in life. Share with you today is the partial notes I have from a temple class.

What is a person? What is the purpose of living?

  1. A person: when one’s a person, he’s not a ghost. The difference between the two is time and space.
  2. Simply put it, a life is when one is born till his death. How this period of time is spent is the million dollar question. Should it only be the four sufferings of getting born, aging, sick, and then death?
  3. The purpose of living, in a Dao perspective, is to correct the bad hobbies or wrong doings in the passage of our past lives. We are to recover our true selves, which is the Buddha inside each of us. Do good deeds and show kindness and love to one another. The result would be world peace, the kingdom of Buddha on earth. 

Build an unordinary life by being an ordinary person

  • Are most of us ordinary? Yes!
  • Do we miss many opportunities for being unordinary? Yes!
  • Is building an unordinary life impossible? No!  

Being unordinary comes from being ordinary. We do what need to be done. Be healthy. Take care of our family. Get our work done well…... You name it. The trick is to cultivate and play each role well. Here are some tips:                       

  1. Set a goal

To be determined: Reap what you sew. Here’s a quote from our temple: Determined to be a saint or sage and should you be. Determined to be a Buddha and should we be. Determined to be ordinary and should we be. We become what we determine to be.

  1. Build our confidence
    • Belief: the source of our motivation, our powerhouse. Appreciate everything. Be thankful for whatever help from a family member, a stranger, or the saints and sages.
    • Support Group: be with friends and learn from each other
    • Positive thoughts: Every setback, test, and strikeout is there to help us grow stronger.
  2. Put it into action
    • Being unordinary is the result of our deeds, not of our words or thoughts. Take action.
    • The three ways of giving: charity, the virtue of generosity
      • the financial support
      • the oral sharing and teaching
      • the time and labor

Four types of persons

  1. A failure: a person who does nothing
  2. The ordinary: a person who does a little
  3. A success: a person who does more than a little
  4. An unordinary: a person who does much more than a little

Chapter 12 in Laozi Tao Te Ching* (Dao De Jing)

The hues of the five colors blind us from seeing other colors

The five music notes make us deaf from hearing other sounds

The five flavors spoil our taste buds and deprive our mouth of taste

Riding freely in the field makes our mind wild

The rare and strange goods make us desire for them

(The repression of the desires)

Colour's five hues from the eyes their sight will take;

Music's five notes the ears as deaf can make;

The flavours five deprive the mouth of taste;

The chariot course, and the wild hunting waste

Make mad the mind; and objects rare and strange,

Sought for, men's conduct will to evil change.

Therefore the sage seeks to satisfy (the craving of) the belly, and not the (insatiable longing of the) eyes. He puts from him the latter, and prefers to seek the former.

The world is full of material distractions. We often neglect the need of our mind and soul because of those. We see only the item, not the quality. The material need is satisfied but our being is not.  Correct this when it’s not too late.

 

Notes:

* http://ctext.org/dao-de-jing/zh?en=on

Jun 23, 2016

「淡泊名利」不是高調自賞、欠缺能力的無奈、更不是強說愁的哀嘆;它是把追名逐利放一邊,讓他們像空中浮雲一樣,靜靜的自然的飄過;它是放下誘惑和困擾,實實在在的生活,豁達客觀的看待一切,才不會累積了名利和財務,但是快樂卻越來越少。

老子道德經第十二章說,五色令人目盲,五音令人耳聾,五味令人口爽,馳騁畋獵,令人心發狂,難得之貨,令人行妨。人世間五光十色,我們常常因為身外之物,忽略了自己的心靈;只看到物質,忽略了品質。科技知識無限累積,心靈的滿足卻趕不上,造成物質充裕,內心空虛,活得不快樂、不踏實。分享一篇佛堂的課程內容,看看到底要怎樣,才能夠活得充實又自在!

人是什麼?人生又有何目的?

  1. 什麼是人:陽長陰短為『人』,陽短陰長為『入』,也就是『鬼』人鬼只在時間和空間的不同。
  2. 人從何來?歸何處?詩經:天生蒸民,有物有則。『天生』我材必有用、『天生』如此,由此可證人來自於天,人既來自于天,當然回天,但是為何又有地獄呢?
  3. 簡單的說,人生就是從出生到死亡的過程。那這一生有想過如何過嗎?是否只是生老病死?人為萬物之靈,究竟靈在何處?此既人生真正的意義。
  4. 人生的目的為何?就是要修正自己歷劫以來已經偏離的個性,恢復人的本來面目:佛,建立一個人人充滿慈悲心念和博愛行為的人間佛國、大同世界。

世間人可分四類:後人以其在世期間所做的事,所給予的評價

  1. 第一類:死後『遺臭萬年』,死人中的死人。
  2. 第二類:死後『無聲無息』,活人中的死人。
  3. 第三類:死後為他立『銅像』,死人中的活人。
  4. 第四類:死後為他『裝金身』,活人中的活人。

成就不平凡的淡泊人生

  1. 建立目標
    立志:種瓜得瓜,種豆得豆,仙佛曰:【志為聖賢則為聖賢,志為仙佛則仙佛,志為凡夫則凡夫,立何志成何名。】目標不立如無無舵之舟,無銜之馬。
    目標如指南針:一個人想法的大小,決定成就的大小。仙佛常說:願有多大,力就有多大。依目前的實力及狀況立志,立可成之志。
  2. 建立自信
    信心:動力的泉源,徹底改變人生的偉大力量,祈求、感恩珍惜一切
    同修:在團體中同修的互相扶持關懷,開始學習關心體諒別人
    轉念:轉念是破除一切煩惱的良方,任何挫折、考驗、打擊都是幫助我們成長的助力。天下無難事,只怕有心人。有信心的人相信自己什麼都能做。我能、我一定能。
  3. 付諸行動:不平凡是『做』出來的,只有心裡想、只有口頭說,不行動還是是等於零
    財施:以錢財物質身外之物助道,可消宿業。
    法施:辦道、行道代天宣化,闡揚真理,可破無明。
    無畏施:為道奔波勞碌,護道辦道,發大無畏之精神,可消苦根。
    • 失敗的人:什麼都不做
    • 一般的人:只做這一點
    • 成功的人:多做一點點
    • 不平凡的人:再多做一點
Jun 21, 2016

Surprise!!! May discovered an unknown talent during a 2-day trip

  1. Different roles: a student, an admin officer, a substitute instructor, and a coordinator of and host during the mentioned 2-day trip at reading club; a wife, a mother, and a daughter-in-law at home; an employee and the management at work
  2. Playing the roles: Identify the role, and its respective position and responsibility. Do your best to play it well
  3. Do whatever to it takes that benefic the group most
  4. Learn whenever you can. Do your best when the opportunity knocks

From where May finds time to do so many things

  1. Family, work, the reading club, the Chinese school, the temple…
  2. Manage your time: weekly plan, daily plan, split a big task into smaller ones
  3. Prioritize the tasks; Find time to plan
  4. Plan in advance. Do not wait until all elements are available. It might be too late

Why May attends the temple (Association for Dao Enlightenment) when being so busy

  1. Chinese Classics Reading Club, Mr. S. M. Hwang, and the holy scripts from the Saints and Sages
  2. Getting close to spiritual friendship. In general, such is a supportive relationship based on shared Buddhist ethical values and the pursuit of enlightenment

What May did to build her career after immigrating to the United States

  1. Being humiliated at school because her English was poor and knew very little of the subject. Showed her dignity by doing extremely well in class. Studied hard and improved her English skills as quickly and well as she could with a baby in tow.
  2. A goal: tried accounting but didn’t like it even there was a job offer. Pursuit a MS degree in computer science instead.
  3. Learned whenever and whatever she could. When the time was right, she moved on to better and higher positions.

May’s family education

  1. Teaching kids by their own deeds rather than verbal instructions
  2. Respecting children’s interests and helping them build their strength
  3. Being financially responsible. Learn how to invest, save, and use their earnings wisely.
  4. Moral education

Here are May’s Suggestions

  1. To all: Play your role well no matter how insignificant it might be.
  2. To immigrants: Leave your comfort zone. Learn the target language as early and well as possible.
  3. To the employees: Observe and learn. Overcome whatever obstacles to get the tasks done. Make sure you’re ready when the opportunity knocks.
  4. To the parents: be a role model. Children learn from what you do, not what you tell them to do.
Jun 20, 2016

 驚艷,千面女郎現身讀書會二日遊

  1. 各種角色
  2. 讀書會:旅遊策劃及當日節目主持人、代課老師、班務、學生
  3. 家庭:妻子、母親、媳婦
  4. 工作:員工、主管
  5. 角色的扮演
  6. 認識自己當時的立場與責任,將其扮得最佳
  7. 以圛體的利益為主,不求回報
  8. 把握機會,適時表達,機會錯過,無法再來

為何有時間作那麼多事

  1. 家庭、工作、讀書會、中文學校、佛堂
  2. 時間的運用:將大事分為小段,每週計劃,每日計劃
  3. 事情的先後次序
  4. 利用時間思考
  5. 儘早計劃,不要等到事情皆有才開始

為什麼繁忙中仍願意至佛堂

  1. 讀書會,四書五經
  2. 院長的為人
  3. 仙佛聖訓,非凡人能作
  4. 親近善知識

在美職場經驗分享

  1. 確定目標:家政系的學歷試唸會計,後轉攻Computer Science碩士學位
  2. 不受辱
  3. 努力學習,加強英文讀寫,及口語溝通能力
  4. 多付出,多充實,適時轉換跑道或工作

美滿家庭

  1. 身教重於言教
  2. 年幼女兒知道以茶水待客
  3. 女兒年幼時常帶他們旅遊,現在改由他們規劃行程,帶我們每年出遊1-2次
  4. 見父親每年回台陪伴阿公阿媽,成家後女兒每年帶夫婿小孩回台陪伴
  5. 尊重孩子的興趣,助其發展長處,不以賺錢為目的
  6. 金錢使用原則-學習,教育,儲蓄優先
  7. 品德教育
Jun 17, 2016

When seeing the world from a perspective other than grabbing more power, gaining a higher social status, earning more money, or wanting others to do things our way, we’d find it open up to more opportunities and potentials for us. Let’s go and create our own good fortune and destiny.

  1. Reflect on ourselves often for any wrongdoings. Do not gossip about faults of others. Stay joyful and appreciate our luck every single moment.
  2. Miss no chance to do good deeds even if they are small. Do no wrong even if it’s a tiny one.
  3. Every single day is the beginning of practicing humanity. Every single moment is good for reminding ourselves on that.
  4. Smiles are more appealing than frowns. Discussions are more natural than scowls.
  5. Eliminate the greed and be content with simplicity. Your mind would be blessed with peace and freedom.
  6. Seeking luck and longevity is not as good as being safe and well. Being safe and well is to add luck and longevity to your life.
  7. The most ordinary people are the richest ones.
  8. It’s the best to have a conscious mind. It’s the happiest thing to be able to give, provide assistance, and help the needed.
  9. Be more tolerance when dealing with others. Give them more love. If you’re able to do both, a happier life would be yours to enjoy.
  10. Who is the luckiest? The one who can forgive and have mercy on all beings in the world.
  11. Who that respects himself has more courage to reduce his self-importance.
  12. Step back and allow others more space so to help them accomplish their goals. It’s a personal accomplishment and cultivation.
  13. Our facial expression and acts. The way we talk and behave. They are learned and earned by educating ourselves and enduring contemptibility in our daily life.
  14. No matter how many obstacles there are in the journey, they can be overcome. No matter how difficult the tasks are, they can be done. This is how we learn and elevate our moral character.
  15. Every second counts when it comes to doing good deeds.
  16. Do not look down on anyone especially yourself because all us have endless potentials.
  17. Everything starts from a seed called determination.
  18. If we cannot seize the predestined relationship, no matter how great an opportunity and luck is, it would slip away from us.
  19. When a heart is true, there is good fortune. When there is a will, there is help.
  20. Penitence is the confession of the soul. It’s equivalent to the spring cleaning of the soiled mind.
  21. An individual always showing gratitude is less likely trapped in a difficult position for long.
  22. Keep our heart like a bright moon which appears when there is water. Keep our heart like the sky that appears when the clouds are gone.
  23. A heart without evil and a mind without vicious thoughts often feel at ease. A sincere and honest soul is free from the wicked.
  24. Being able to give is not a privilege to the financially secured people. Instead, it’s the devotion of love.
  25. There are always people less fortunate than us. It’s a blessing to be able to serve others.
Jun 16, 2016

每個人的生活有順有逆,好的大家都開心,但對那些不如意,您是如何處理呢?抱怨一下可以抒發些情緒,但是我們可以偷天換日,把不如意變成如意,帶出好的循環嗎?美國牧師作家威爾鮑溫用「不抱怨」的方法,鼓勵大家挑戰自己不抱怨,以下四種方法供您參考,讓我們一起化負為正,擺脫哀聲嘆氣的壞習慣,變得積極又樂觀。

處理感覺,但不要試圖解釋問題

  1. 不如意的事發生了,我們需要去「處理」。「處理」是描述對這件事情的感受,而不是現場模擬,重新經歷這件事。我們改變思考的模式,改變自己的言語,因為不抱怨,它可以很健康,我們變得更快樂。
  2. 「處理」的時候,把重點放在你的感受上面,而不是對這件事的解讀和說明。「你這樣做很不公平」,這句話裡包括了你的經驗,跟別人討論自己的感覺,就是在處理這個經驗,不需要加上背景故事,或是誰說了什麼。

不要光是碎碎唸,用行動填補落差

  1. 開始行動是最難的部分,因為我們得面對事實真相,要求自己身體力行。身體不健康嗎?別抱怨,找醫師咨詢、做些運動、或是調整飲食。
  2. 改變源自於不滿,抱怨只是開端,卻不能成為結果。說明你想要的目標,挑戰中間的困難,用填補落差的方式,振奮人心,促使人們做出積極、正面的改變。
  3. 因為不抱怨,我們可以花更少的心力,找到更多想要的東西。

將不抱怨的美德傳承下去

  1. 無論是好是壞,我們就是旁人的榜樣。能量會互相牽引,想要改變別人,我們要以身作則,因為身教真的比言教更有效。
  2. 要改變別人,先改變自己對別人的評價,這是一切的源頭。
  3. 人是互動的,別人的反應是對自己行為的反應,而自己的行為,來自心中對別人的評價。我們是人際關係的導演,你可以改編這個故事,改變你跟他的關係。

為小事感恩,為生命喝采

  1. 把欣賞和感恩當預設立場,就算是理所當然、微不足道的事也不例外。
  2. 我們的心靈就像一座意念工廠,隨時都在運作,當負面的念頭枯竭,生產線就能空出來,運送快樂的思想,巷
  3. 如果想改變別人或扭轉情勢,把焦點放在我們希望發生的結果上。

改變自己說話、思考的方式,建立健康、快樂、不抱怨的人際關係。當我們進入穩定的不抱怨階段,就會更積極,而且吸引樂觀向上的人。想跟快樂長相左右,停止抱怨,心想事成,改變人生,迎接好運。

Jun 13, 2016

What To Choose, Career Or Family?

  1. Established a home décor factory in China. Managed the factory alone and being separated from his family.
  2. Lost the opportunity to be with his kids and to witness their growth. Too bad there is no pill can cure regret.
  3. More than a decade had passed and Jeffrey grew older. Neither of the kids wanted to inherit his business. He had to sell it and spent 3 to 4 years to get the transfer task done.

Retirement? Oh My God…

  1. Knowing it coming 4 years prior to his retirement did not prepare Jeffrey for his retirement.
  2. Jeffrey felt lost and out of his element. It seemed his personal value was gone.
  3. He stayed underfoot of his beloved wife who needed to get use to his being home full time too.
  4. They spent some months traveling to places
  5. Jeffrey returned to school and pursued a master degree in Buddhism which had been his passion since college.

Suggestions For People Who Might Be Retired within Several Years

  1. Made a plan to buy your own place when young if possible. With your own place, you won’t need to worry about paying rent when there’s no income.
  2. Plan your retirement well. Search healthy hobbies and interests to occupy your extra time.
  3. You must have some passive income, such as monthly or rent income. Leave your savings to emergency or planned expenses.
  4. Unless you’re really well off financially, it might be better giving your children the opportunity to build their own career. Keep the savings for yourself and the spouse and enjoy a relaxed retirement.
  5. Be careful about your investment. Jeffrey doesn’t suggest the stock market because it’s highly risky.
  6. Fulfill the need for your soul and mind, such as philosophy and religions. Find a way to elevate your being.
Jun 13, 2016

事業與家庭不能兩全

  1. 家庭裝潢飾品,設廠大陸,遠離家人
  2. 失去陪同子女成長機會,沒有後悔藥可吃
  3. 年紀漸長,子女無意願接手,將工廠頂讓出去 

退休震撼彈

  1. 三、四年的心理準備,退休後仍無法適應
  2. 有失落感,好像個人的價值不見了
  3. 重新適應家庭生活,偕同愛妻各地旅遊
  4. 回學校讀書,追尋個人興趣 

給幾年內可能退休朋友的建議

  1. 尋找心靈的滿足,如哲學、宗教
  2. 小心投資,不建議去玩股票,保存老本
  3. 提前思考退休問題,尋找轉移日後生活重心的興趣
  4. 儘早規劃買房,才不會因退休後沒薪水,擔心付住屋問題
  5. 退休後一定要有收入,如月退金或房租進帳,才不會坐吃山空
  6. 最好讓兒女自食其力,除非手頭真的很寬,不然老本留下自己慢慢用
Jun 10, 2016

Have you ever wondered how powerful positive thinking is? When you truly want something to happen, coordinate your talk, your deed, and your mind. Just do it and be positive. You’ll be surprised (or maybe not) that the end result is more like to tilt to what you hope than not. Even if it’s not exactly what you want or wish, you know you’ve done your best. If you haven’t, then examine what can be done differently. When next opportunity appears, be positive and do your best again! 

  1. Turn the thought of greed into contentment. Transform the contentment into kindness.
  2. The happiest life is one that with a fulfilled spirituality.
  3. Change yourself is a way of self-help. Your influence upon others is a way to save them.
  4. With no desire or need, you are in possession of endless strengths.
  5. Be harmonized with your bad karma. Create your good karma. With more good karma, you’re bound to have more good fortune.
  6. Love is endless fortune. Being able to give is luckier than to receive.
  7. Thinking of the past is distraction. Thinking of the future is illusion. Cherish the present is the best.
  8. Being safe and well is good fortune. Staying happy is wisdom.
  9. If we can keep our mind and heart clear and bright, all we see would be beauty and kindness.
  10. A confused field of mind grows no flowers of wisdom.
  11. The best cosmetics for the face is smiles and kind thoughts.
  12. Put yourself in other’s shoes. Be considerate and show empathy to others.
  13. Smiles not only show a good will but also shorten the distance between people.
  14. Good fortune comes from a heart that knows how to give.
  15. Sometimes your troubles and worries come from unreasonable desires.
  16. Take good care of what is yours. Cherish the good fortune and be content.
  17. Joyfulness and gratitude is the force to eliminate troublesome thoughts.
  18. Count me in when doing good deeds. Exclusive of me when planning bad deeds.
  19. Being happy is not how much you get, but how little you bother over gaining or losing
  20. The most lovely person wears smiles on her face and love in her heart. Her name is a Bodhisattva.
  21. When no ugly thoughts come to you, anything and everything you hear are good and kind words.
  22. An educator’s responsibility is to teach. Putting whatever into practice lies on the student.
  23. With love in your heart, whoever sees you will love you.
  24. Hold your temper under a confused or unreasonable situation. It can save you from lots of undesired troubles later.
  25. Want to change others? Start from changing yourself.

With kind words, good deeds, and a beautiful mind, good fortune will find its way you when you least expect it J

Jun 9, 2016

周一的專訪中,Anny提到家人終於不再過度保護,轉而肯定她的能力與成就,他們的肯定,來自Anny對自己的自信,她變得像水一樣的柔軟,像鳥一樣的飛翔,散發真心與真情,不再隱藏小水滴。Anny改變了自己,她的家人也因此改變!

生活中有那些事,是我們可以先改變,帶領出好的循環嗎?若要列表,每個人單子肯定不同,不過應該也有類似的,所以我們今天就先聊聊很有效、大家都能做的練習:不抱怨

手腕小紫環,無怨大挑戰

你自認樂觀嗎?你每天抱怨嗎?不知道?認真算一下自己大笑的次數,還有抱怨的次數,保證嚇你一大跳!

2006年,美國的牧師作家威爾鮑溫,邀請教區的會眾參加「不抱怨」運動,用有意識的自我提醒,挑戰21天不抱怨,停止無意識、無效用、無止境的惡性循環。他還有個小道具:一個毫不起眼的紫手環。但是簡單樸素的手環,真的能消除日積月累的抱怨習慣嗎?

我們常說心口意,除非是故意的,不然我們說出來的話,通常就是我們的想法,然後這些想法又創造了我們的生活。所以我們抱怨越多,吸引來的負面能量也越多;我們的想法越正面,帶來的美好與幸福也越多。

鮑溫牧師的方法說起來簡單到不行,就是在手上戴一個手環,一發現自己在碎碎唸,嘮嘮叨叨的抱怨不停,就把手環換到另外一隻手。這樣刻意的提醒自己停止抱怨,等到手環牢牢戴在同一個手腕上,21天沒換位置,就算是打破了抱怨的習慣了。

手環原位坐,幸福擁抱我

根據網路上的資料,這個「不抱怨」的運動從2006年開始到現在,已經推廣到一百多個國家地區,超過一千萬人參加。這表示美好的生活大家都想要,也都知道要有行動,要推己及人,合力編織活力四射的正能量大網,這個世界才會更平靜,更喜樂。

那難道說什麼都不能講嗎?如果我們認真去想,會發現真正達到哀傷、痛苦程度的事情其實沒那麼多。心靈就像工廠裡的生產線,我們碎碎唸抱怨的事,通常有礙生活的幸福與美滿,當負面思考消失,快樂一點的念頭就會出現。

想改變別人,先改變自己,想擁有健康、快樂的人生,就做該做的事。從這一刻開始,積極的改掉抱怨的習慣,用正向的思考,帶出正能量。

積極快樂做,身教勝言教

我們佛堂裡有個「不計較、不比較、不亂叫」的提醒,在生活上實踐,自然能「己立立人,己達達人」,加上心存感激,口吐蓮花,放眼都是佛菩薩,看諸事皆美,生活自然美。

  • 不要光是碎碎唸,用行動填補落差
  • 處理你的感覺,但不要試圖解釋問題
  • 將不抱怨的美德傳承下去
  • 為小事感恩,為生命喝采
Jun 7, 2016

A Life without A Left Palm

  1. Born imperfect: Anny’s left arm ended at the wrist. Four rain-drop-like fingers attached to her wrist were only good for decoration.
  2. Confusion: Being physically different from other girls confused her and made her feel wronged in some way.
  3. Concealment: Anny’s parents worked at a local market and had a hard time handling people’s curiosity and stupid criticism. Anny’s left wrist was always hidden from view.
  4. Protection & Denial: Family avoided talking about her handicap. The unwillingness of admitting her partial disability made it even harder for Anny to face it herself.

Encouragement & A Healthy Character Helped Anny Find Her Wings

  1. Helping hands from acquaintances
  2. Sayling Wen       Anny’s first and only employer was a computer company in Taiwan. Her supervisor, Mr. Sayling Wen, was very kind and tried to make her feel at ease at work. He allowed her to learn in different departments until her retirement.
  3. YiShi Zeng           When Anny was young, Mr. Zeng visited the family to invite her out of the shelter but her father refused. He stayed in touch with Anny and treated her to a meal when she graduated from college. Again he wanted her to join groups formed by the disabled. He said to her, “Were you going to care much if your left palm was hidden when you died? That woke Anny and kicked her out of her comfort zone.
  4. Bird & Water Dance Theater

The members are to have a heart like a bird flying in the sky and to be as soft as water flowing to wherever needs it.

  1. Opening her heart

After years of searching, Anny finally found her own stage. She participated in the Bird & Water Dance Theater, helped to make it available on YouTube, built a blog sharing of her own. What she wanted to say is to respect the uniqueness of each individual.

  1. Family’s recognition

Anny found her confidence at work, in her dance, and enhanced it when she persuaded a master degree in non-profit organization management. Because of that her family finally understood she was strong enough to face the world.

Encouragements from Anny to the Disabled And Their Family

  1. Handle it in a healthy attitude from the very beginning. It’d be better and easier for the individuals to adapt to the physical fact and fortify themselves when growing up, stepping into adulthood, and finding employment.
  2. Being disabled is not anyone’s choice. It is no fault of the parent and certainly not the kid. None is a sinner. Blame no one and no need to ask why. Face it, accept it, manage it, and let go of it.
  3. It is indeed very inconvenient. Anny’s suggestion is to view it as an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. When you finally able to overcome the difficulty, you’d be more mature.
  4. The handicapped are often more sensitive. Use the sensitivity on being considerate to others.
Jun 6, 2016

肢體不完整的成長人生

  1. 生來沒有左手掌,只有四個象徵性的手指頭,暱稱小水滴
  2. 影響女孩愛美心態,跟別人長得不同,覺得委屈
  3. 父母保守,怕別人指指點點,用掩藏的方式處理小水滴
  4. 家人避開不談,叫做我們都不說的公開秘密
  5. 自己無法面對,花了很久才走出來

健全人格,美麗飛舞

  1. 家人的肯定,來自Anny對自己的自信
  2. 謝謝生命中的貴人:主管溫世仁,讓Anny 歷練各個部門
  3. 鳥與水舞集:心跟鳥一樣自在,跟水一樣柔軟
  4. 打開你的心,找出自己的舞台,揮灑自我,尊重每一個人的獨特性
  5. 謝謝生命中的貴人:在教育部工作的曾一士,鼓勵Anny伸出手,不要把手藏起來

Anny 給殘障者本人及家庭的鼓勵

  1. 從一開始就用健康的態度去面對,成長及出社會的適應都會容易些
  2. 殘障不是任何人的選擇,不是你自己、更不是父母的錯,都沒有罪究責。請用正常、正當、下面的角度來看事情,面對它、接受它、處理它、放下它
  3. 殘障朋友是不方便,但是擁有比別人多的成長機會。當你突破時,你會更加成熟
  4. 把敏感放在對人的體貼上面,做個心口意合一的人
Jun 3, 2016

What kind of “good fortunes” are you searching? Good looks and great work compensations? Or Knowledge of where you’re coming and going? Here’s the 2nd quarter of the 100 things that are considered good fortune listed for our Dao Society. Let’s see which ones work for you. 

  1. We should be joyful for other people’s achievement.
  2. With a tolerate heart, happiness is ours. When feeling happy, mindfulness follows. Happiness and mindfulness are hand in hand.
  3. Reflect often upon whether we’ve done anything wrong. By doing so, we get to free ourselves and feel at ease.
  4. Buddha learning means to bring reconciliation to our troubles. Seek peace in our mind.
  5. Perseverance is like constant water dropping wears away a stone. No matter how huge an obstacle and the difficulty is, they can be overcome.
  6. Want a harmonious and peaceful family life? Engage joyfulness.
  7. Grab our chances to do good deeds. Grab the occasion too.
  8. Let go of the good and the bad of yesterday. Make the best of today.
  9. Be content and feel the joy. Do things willingly and endure the results with an open heart.
  10. Being angry is like punishing yourself with other people’s wrong doing.
  11. A life that is with more gratitude would be more beautiful.
  12. Shrink your ego and expand capacity for tolerance. Like what you do and appreciate each other’s effort.
  13. Love and appreciation can cleanse our thoughts of worries and troubles.
  14. Find time to do good deeds. It’s the goal of living our life and an obligation too.
  15. We only get to live some decades while Dao is eternalty.
  16. Make our wish big. Strengthen our will. Keep a soft attitude. Mind the details.
  17. Be mindful when dealing with others. Be careful and attentive but NOT narrow-minded.
  18. It is good fortune to be able to pay it forward. It is wisdom to eliminate trouble thoughts.
  19. Every single day would be a wonderful day if we can keep a kind heart at all times.
  20. Speak good words. Keep good thoughts. Do good deeds.
  21. Faith, willpower, and courage. When we have all three, nothing is impossible.
  22. Speaking kind words is like producing lotus flowers. Speaking evil of others is like spitting out venom.
  23. While the light of the sun is bright, the favor of our parents is significant, and the demeanor of a gentleman is huge, the attitude of a villain is truculent.
  24. When in the right, discuss the matter with an even and harmonious manner. When in the right, allow those who are in the wrong a way out.
  25. Know that we are fortunate. Cherish our good fortune and create more of it.
Jun 3, 2016

What kind of “good fortunes” are you searching? Good looks and great work compensations? Or Knowledge of where you’re coming and going? Here’s the 2nd quarter of the 100 things that are considered good fortune listed for our Dao Society. Let’s see which ones work for you. 

  1. We should be joyful for other people’s achievement.
  2. With a tolerate heart, happiness is ours. When feeling happy, mindfulness follows. Happiness and mindfulness are hand in hand.
  3. Reflect often upon whether we’ve done anything wrong. By doing so, we get to free ourselves and feel at ease.
  4. Buddha learning means to bring reconciliation to our troubles. Seek peace in our mind.
  5. Perseverance is like constant water dropping wears away a stone. No matter how huge an obstacle and the difficulty is, they can be overcome.
  6. Want a harmonious and peaceful family life? Engage joyfulness.
  7. Grab our chances to do good deeds. Grab the occasion too.
  8. Let go of the good and the bad of yesterday. Make the best of today.
  9. Be content and feel the joy. Do things willingly and endure the results with an open heart.
  10. Being angry is like punishing yourself with other people’s wrong doing.
  11. A life that is with more gratitude would be more beautiful.
  12. Shrink your ego and expand capacity for tolerance. Like what you do and appreciate each other’s effort.
  13. Love and appreciation can cleanse our thoughts of worries and troubles.
  14. Find time to do good deeds. It’s the goal of living our life and an obligation too.
  15. We only get to live some decades while Dao is eternalty.
  16. Make our wish big. Strengthen our will. Keep a soft attitude. Mind the details.
  17. Be mindful when dealing with others. Be careful and attentive but NOT narrow-minded.
  18. It is good fortune to be able to pay it forward. It is wisdom to eliminate trouble thoughts.
  19. Every single day would be a wonderful day if we can keep a kind heart at all times.
  20. Speak good words. Keep good thoughts. Do good deeds.
  21. Faith, willpower, and courage. When we have all three, nothing is impossible.
  22. Speaking kind words is like producing lotus flowers. Speaking evil of others is like spitting out venom.
  23. While the light of the sun is bright, the favor of our parents is significant, and the demeanor of a gentleman is huge, the attitude of a villain is truculent.
  24. When in the right, discuss the matter with an even and harmonious manner. When in the right, allow those who are in the wrong a way out.
  25. Know that we are fortunate. Cherish our good fortune and create more of it.
Jun 2, 2016

上周的有福一百上集,前50項思而悟之、學而習之、行而得之、終究了之的幸福事件,點閱率嚇嚇叫,想必大家獲益良多,因為英文衝上榜首,中文排行第七,今天再分享後50項,把他們用在生活中,大家開心又幸福。

  1. 把貪的念轉為滿足,把滿足的念換做慈悲
  2. 精神如能常滿足,就是最幸福的人生
  3. 改變自己是自救,影響別人是救人
  4. 無欲,無求,則力量不盡
  5. 災要自己消,福要自己造,多造福,就可增無量的福報
  6. 愛是無盡的財富,施比受更有福
  7. 想過去是雜念,想未來是妄想,最好把握當下時刻
  8. 平安是福,快樂是慧
  9. 人的心念意境,如能保持開朗清明,則所見,都是美而善的
  10. 紛亂的心田,開不出智慧的花朵
  11. 最好的臉部保養品,就是微笑與善念
  12. 要將心比心,設身處地為別人想一想
  13. 笑容,不但可以表答善意,還可以縮短人際間的距離
  14. 福是來自一顆懂得布施的心
  15. 有時煩惱是來自不合理的欲望
  16. 愛護身邊物,惜福常知足
  17. 歡喜和感恩是消除煩惱的力量
  18. 做好事不能少我一個,做壞事不能多我一個
  19. 幸福不在得到多,而在計較少
  20. 臉上有笑容,心中有愛的人最可愛,就是菩薩
  21. 無心去往壞處想,聽任何話都是好話
  22. 師長的責任,只是教導,實踐的路,學生必須自己去走
  23. 心中有愛,才會人見人愛
  24. 忍一時之氣,免百日之憂
  25. 改變別人,不如先改變自己
  26. 常思己過,莫論人非,時時歡喜,時時吉祥
  27. 勿以善小而不為,勿以惡小而為之
  28. 每一天都是做人的開始,每一時刻都是自己的警惕
  29. 笑比皺眉好看,說話比呵斥自然
  30. 去貪就簡,可使心靈得到無比的寧靜與解脫
  31. 求福壽倒不如求平安,平安就是添福壽
  32. 最平常的人最富有
  33. 問心無愧心最安,能夠付出,助人,救人,最是快樂
  34. 待人退一步,愛人寬一寸,在人生道上就會活得很快樂
  35. 最幸福的人就是能寬容與悲憫一切眾生的人
  36. 唯其尊重自己的人,才更勇於縮小自己
  37. 退一步,讓一步,來成全別人,即是修養,即是修行
  38. 面容動作,言談舉止,都是日常生活中修養忍辱得來的
  39. 難行能行,難為能為,才能昇華自我的人格
  40. 人生要為善競爭,分秒必爭
  41. 不要小看自己,因為人有無限的可能
  42. 任何事都是從一個決心,一個種子開始
  43. 再好的機會,福報,如不能把握因緣,一樣會溜走
  44. 有心就有福,有願就有力
  45. 懺悔是心靈的告白,也可以說是精神污染的大掃除
  46. 一個永保感恩心的人,就比較不會陷入困境
  47. 心要像明月一樣,有水就有月,心要像天空一樣,雲開見青天
  48. 心無邪惡,意無邪念,即常可自在,心正則邪不侵
  49. 布施不是有錢人的專利,而是一份虔誠的愛心
  50. 這世界總有比我們悲慘的人,能為別人服務,比被服務的人有福
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